Issue #7: On Nuances of Kindness
An essay on kindness co-curated with Keerthana
Our world is one of relationships - complex ones that we share with the self and the community. The complexity is not just an expression of our capacity to feel and think in layers, but also a depiction of the social structures that we are inevitably embedded in. For one, it isn’t necessarily easy to navigate through this. For two, if we practice some self-awareness, we’d find ourselves trying to battle through that balance between individualism and communitarianism.
Through this week’s newsletter, we’d like to explore the politics of kindness within the purview of this interwoven network of key dynamics.
“Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Be kind.”
We’ve heard this quote very often to talk about the uniqueness in each of our struggles. Yet there is a shared human experience in that - we are all faced by hardships and we all desire to find a hand in the dark - hardships or not. While this is one way to justify why kindness is important, another way of looking at it is the Kantian way. German Philosopher and Thinker Immanuel Kant would say that one should be kind because being kind is the right thing to do. There are no explanations to be given - doing the right thing is the ultimate explanation. Having said that, is it possible to only act from a place of righteousness?
Perhaps not.
We subconsciously take into consideration multiple factors which instantly makes kindness, alongside being an action of emotions and thought; a political action. Although this may not be explicit, it can be prevalent if one is observant towards acts of kindness. Politics is not only related to governance or the people we vote for. It is often beyond that, penetrating in our everyday lives. Politics is validated by the hierarchy in a social structure. Every social institution that we directly or indirectly dependent on is therefore political. Be it in the spaces of our home, workplace or public gatherings; we’d find a certain narrative that determines the dynamics between two people or even with the self. So then can kindness also be political?
· Would you be kind towards someone who would not be kind to you?
· Would you be kind to your enemy?
· Would you be kind to the boy who bullied you and made you cry?
· Would your level of kindness differ when caste or religion comes into picture? Or maybe gender?
Ellen DeGeneres, an activist and television talk show host, was criticized once for being friends with someone she shouldn’t (normatively) be friends with, to which she responded and defended herself,
“When I say, ‘Be kind to one another,’ I don’t mean only the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone.”
This might seem weird to think about because we have thought of kindness as a virtue in isolation. But our kindness is a reflection of an array of things - political ideology, cultural impact, attitudes and dispositions; among several others.
If kindness is so deeply associated with who we are fundamentally, then it becomes paramount for us to be aware of ourselves. Understanding the who, why, how and what of actions of kindness enable us to seek a profoundness in being and interacting. Pausing to ask these questions to other people and ourselves enables a sync in the needs of others and our acts of kindness towards them. This process of deliberation, communication and reflection keeps us on the path of working towards the betterment of the world. It shifts our lifestyle into a more meaningful endeavour where we consciously act from a space of authenticity and genuineness.
The contextualisation or rationalisation of kindness is not a reduction in its overall value as an essentiality. It is only a reminder of the nuances of a virtue we demand so often of the world; and rightly so. In order to yield change of any kind, it is essential that we practice compassion and kindness. They are symbols of humanity. They speak to us in a language of hope and gratitude. We as a world are desperately in need of more of this.
There is no such thing as too much kindness, right? :)
Message from Keerthana, our co-curator for the issue:
Keerthana is the founder of Camping With a Cause, a not-for-profit project that runs fundraisers to support Covid-19 relief work and other initiatives by organising fun and thought-provoking workshops for children and adults.
You can see her work on her blog
Follow her work on her Instagram page
If you’re still here…..
Thank you for being with us till here. This was a very special essay for us, considering the World Kindness Day that is nearing on 13th of November. If this essay helped you learn, unlearn, or reflect about anything, it is our humble request to not just stop at thinking, but also take action by practicing kindness. And for that, please consider the two initiatives that we think you might be interested in working towards.
I saw a post on social media that is doing rounds and people are working hard towards it.
Here’s something you can you do for it
Go to https://linktr.ee/savemollem and do whatever you can! :)
A close friend of ours, Marzia, is running a campaign and raising funds for the education of migrant children in Bangalore. I would humbly request you to consider donating or amplifying and helping these children with their education.
Here’s my dog Zach, whose picture I am attaching for the sole purpose of making you smile. :)
If you’ve liked this issue, why not like and let me know?
Seriously, thank you for reading! :)
Your writing continues to floor me, Tanisha! Yet another issue of The Hit and Miss that I'm fascinated by! Well done!